May 17, 2007

The Ostrich and the Sand

At times I feel like I live my life with my head stuck far up my ass.
At times I like it that way.

I've been excitedly blathering about our accomplishments at home, completely avoiding the topic of turmoil to the south. This is graduation week but The Boy will not be walking with his class. Surprised? Us too. The what-where-when-why-how of that are his and his alone. I am but a hanger-on, albeit with a heavily ve$ted intere$t.

It is an interesting exercise to let go without letting go. Of course, this circumstance is fucking killing me not the end of the world. The show will go on, the fat lady will (eventually) sing, blah blah blah. Blech.

If he were a helium-filled balloon I'd grab his string and knot it tightly around my wrist, all the while chastising myself for losing my grip to begin with. But that's not my job anymore. Instead I get to watch him bob erratically across a cloudy sky, my heart in my throat, as he finds his bearings. I do so love that boy.

This parenting stuff.
Oh my.
It's humbling.

.

12 comments:

deb said...

Hang in there, Hon. It'll be okay. A 4.5 yr or 5yr degree is as good as a 4yr one. This, too, shall pass...
.

SassyFemme said...

He'll find his bearings, he's got the stability of his family to guide his feet back down to earth as he makes his way. In the mean time, hang in there.

Syd said...

I assume that he's too big for you to whip-his-ass? Shame.

Just a bump in the road.

weese said...

I like the balloon analogy.
I quickly got an image of Ferris' head as a big helium balloon wafting around our yard. smiling and having fun of course.

you are doing a wonderful job you know. would you like to try my cocktail therapy - i believe it works for this sort of thing too.

Mel said...

You capture motherhood so beautifully.

the only daughter said...

All that has been said...and then some.

My daughter, yes. I know the stuff well.

Gina said...

I took a very long time to get my degree, and looking back, I'm not sure I would have done any differently.

Although I'm sure it must be frustrating for you. However, I'm thinking that as you are the supplier of funds, you have the right to ask what is going on.

agoodlistener said...

Oh. I thought maybe he just didn't want to go to graduation itself. I didn't, at my undergrad or first masters, but I did at my second at the ripe old age of 42. Now that was fun. As you know, kids take longer to finish their degrees. Our youngest announced he was quitting with one semester left. We squashed that with a midnight visit to his dorm room and some hard headed "counseling". Hope things work out for you all.

Hahn at Home said...

Sigh. He'll get it.

Sarah said...

Family and friends are truly important, especially now. Not only for him, but for you as well. I'll echo the words of the others here in saying..hang in there.

KMae said...

Beautiful writing, Elizabeth!

The Scarlet Pervygirl said...

I'll be finishing my bachelor's degree 9 years and 6 months after graduating high school, and after 10 semesters of college.

I will not be walking with my class, either--graduations are a bad time for me--but because it's important to my mother to commemorate the event, I'll be renting a cap and gown (possibly in orange) and having photos taken.

Through all of this my parents have taken a hands-off approach as I found my bearings and failed some classes: they have provided neither tuition nor badgering, but lots of love and support and the knowledge that no matter what I choose to do, or what their opinions of it are, they'll still love me. I couldn't have asked for better.

You tell us often how intelligent and wonderful the Boy is, and I'm sure you're right. I'm also sure he's that way in no small part due to your involvement--even when that involvement is restraint.

I wish you both luck. Keep loving on him.