November 18, 2008

Time. It Marches On.

I am 46 years old. My birthday was on Election Day this year. I gave myself the day off work, despite knowing I'd have to scramble to make up the time later. The Boy was home to vote and spend the day with me, a holiday made to order! (May I say for the record how much I adore that he is currently only a $20 bus ride away?)

Our family, the three of us, watched the election returns together, feasting on chicken and dumplings, a fire dancing in the fireplace, our spirits high as the numbers rolled in. Nice day. Great night. Good times.

But then I awoke Wednesday and read how the vote on Proposition 8 in California and the exclusionary "marriage" measures in other states turned out. My stomach turned sour.

We attended the rally in DC last Saturday, one of many held in cities around our nation protesting the outcome of Prop 8. It did not uplift my spirits as expected but I'm glad we went. The Boy attended the march in NYC---that makes me proud.

Where does the rest of my family stand on the issue of same-sex marriage? My co-workers? Neighbors? Friends? The supportive ones make themselves clear, some leave me guessing, and others I'm not sure I want to know. Do they even think about it? I feel naked. It is just that personal.

Wendy and I marked our tenth anniversary last month. I'm going to marry her someday and it's not going to matter where others stand. We will get there. I believe.

I also feel terribly dramatic.
I'm grateful it doesn't always show.



SassyFemme said...

Happy Belated Birthday to you, and Happy Belated Anniversary to you both!

I have to admit that there's a certain level of guilt as Fran and I plan for our upcoming wedding, that our friends elsewhere can't be doing the same thing.

psuacoustician said...

I was there on Saturday as well, your picture looks like it came prior to the down pour on the mall.

Val said...

Happy belated birthday and anniversary wishes!!!!

Nothing dramatic about wanting equal rights, kiddo!

And though we can get married in CT, which I'm profoundly grateful, we stil have that federal battle.

But that battle will be won, too.

Faith. It's all about faith.

Great line - feeling naked. Exposed is not comfortable. But without it, change cannot be made.

Trop said...

Belated birthday wishes!

We'll have our day, all of us. I remain faithful of that. And it will be in our lifetimes too.

the only daughter said...

Happy, happy, joy, joy B-day, Anniversay and beyond.

We all shall overcome.

Lee said...

we'll be there when it happens!

chapin said...

Happy Belated Birthday and Anniversary. Sounds like things are going well in your part of the world. :-)

elswhere said...

Yep. We'll all get there.

I feel a little guilty like SassyFemme, being in Canada and all. But the depth and breadth of the protests in the U.S. makes me think things are shifting and soon we'll be married on both sides of the border, and so will you.

Kiraboodog said...

Congrats on both the b-day (did you get our card?) and the anniversary. We're behind you 100% and would love to be invited to your nuptials when said time arrives. Love from Oregon.

agoodlistener said...

A double celebration--congratulations!

Good to see you back in the blogosphere.

Teresa said...

Hey, crazy lady, thanks for fighting the good fight. We're all in this together. I've found participating in the demonstrations pretty uplifting myself, which is good, because it's about the only antidote I've found to fight back the sadness and anger that has otherwise fairly consumed me in the weeks since the election. The nationwide city hall protests fell on my birthday, which was both a sad and exhilarating way to mark my 41st year on earth.

Like you, I'm leery of family members who have avoided this topic with me. I opened the door by sending a letter to my entire family prior to the election, telling them what marriage equality means to me, and dispelling the Yes on 8 campaign of lies that voters had been bombarded with in California. But not a single family member responded to my letter—before or after the election. I get the sense that many of them voted against my rights, and I'm going to have a very difficult time attending family functions in the near term.

Hell, I'm having a difficult time just being in public, walking around among fellow Californians who voted one way or the other on my rights on November 4, in a way that their rights have never been negotiable. Whichever way they voted, I resent that my rights were put on the ballot alongside the rights of farm animals. Never mind that the farm animals won and we lost.

Happy anniversary and happy birthday. And, one day, happy wedding day. We will get there.

Anonymous said...

You're not alone -- I think we all felt that way. Drama is fake, right? That was real. Even from here in Connecticut, where we would like to be just swinging from the chandeliers.

Jesa Christ said...

Congratulations on your anniversary- I can't wait to read about your wedding.They can't keep this B.S. up forever!