100 Things

1. I like to write.


2. I adore Scrabble.


3. I usually win.


4. Unless I'm playing my mother.


5. I like to keep the score sheets documenting my victories.


6. I'm the only one who enjoys looking at them.


7. I know, I know. It shocks me too.


8. I don't always like being in charge.


9. But I often end up there.


10. I'm 5'-9".


11. In my family, I'm considered short.


12. I used to be painfully shy.


13. I forced myself to become good at interacting with strangers.


14. I'm glad I did because it makes life easier.


15. I still consider myself shy but now only I know it.


16. I fell in love at age 25.


17. With a woman.


18. I was married to a man at the time.


19. Yes, it was a f*cked up situation.


20. I'm good at analyzing numbers.


21. Spreadsheets and budgets rock my world.


22. But I'm not good at doing math in my head.


23. I find that embarrassing.


24. I'm a naturally good speller.


25. I am a voracious reader.


26. My father taught me how to play chess.


27. I didn't beat him at it until I was 18.


28. We haven't played since.


29. I don't like mashed potatoes.


30. I don't like beans either.


31. It's a texture thing.


32. My friend Tina thinks I am sensorily challenged.


33. I don't hold that against her.


34. She's probably right.


35. I'm a parent by choice.


36. I like to think I'm a good one.


37. I don't fit many of the stereotypical lesbian prototypes.


38. People get confused because I don't.


39. My son is a music theatre major in college.


40. No, he's not gay.


41. Hypocritically enough, I think I'd struggle with it if he was.


42. So sue me.


43. I changed the oil in my car once.


44. I don't ever want to do it again.


45. But I can if I have to.


46. I have a sweet tooth.


47. Typing was the only class I ever failed in school.


48. After graduation, I earned my living as a typist for awhile.


49. I didn't starve.


50. I'm clumsy.


51. I don't wear makeup except for special events.


52. Sometimes I have trouble sitting still.


53. I played clarinet in the marching band in high school.


54. I love marching bands.


55. I make up silly words for songs.


56. I often sing them out loud.


57. Yes, even when I'm not alone.


58. I like to dance with my dogs.


59. I consider myself conservative.


60. Other people don't.


61. I've always adored sex.


62. Well, ever since I was introduced to it anyway.


63. I'm not a morning person.


64. I drink my coffee black.


65. I remember what I was wearing when I heard the space shuttle Challenger had exploded.


66. I threw that dress away the next day.


67. It made me feel better for some reason.


68. I worry a lot.


69. I don't own a hairbrush.


70. I have naturally curly hair.


71. It is prematurely gray.


72. I make really good spaghetti with meat sauce.


73. I have one sister, two step-sisters, and three step-brothers.


74. My mother is an only child.


75. I used to think my father was an only child too, but then I found out he had an older sister who died as an adult under suspicious circumstances.


76. One day I'm going to write a story about her.


77. It'll be fiction.


78. I love dogs.


79. I love cats too but I am allergic.


80. I adore football and baseball.


81. I am a reformed cigarette smoker.


82. I've lived in the same general geographic area for 37 years.


83. I am irrationally fearful of heights.


84. I like pepperoni and mushrooms on my pizza.


85. I rate Chinese restaurants based on the quality of their hot and sour soup.


86. My neck is very long.


87. Think giraffe-like long.


88. I love wearing turtlenecks in the winter.


89. I have big feet.


90. And freakishly large hands.


91. My girlfriend loves my hands.


92. I love hers, too. Along with the rest of her.


93. I really want to live closer to the ocean.


94. I love the beach in all seasons.


95. My computer is my friend.


96. I hope to grow old gracefully.


97. If successful, it will be the first graceful thing I ever accomplish.


98. I want to spend the rest of my life with Wendy.


99. I'd love to have grandchildren someday.


100. But I'm in no hurry.