September 17, 2006

Kick Off

We have a friend who has a thing about feet. He professes his own to be beautiful, yet rarely exposes them in public or private. Other people's feet? They creep him out, causing him to shudder and cringe in disgust.

We were at his apartment last weekend to watch football. I wore sandals because the weather was warm. As I made that decision, the thought of our host being bothered by my nearly naked extremities crossed my mind but didn't change it.

See, my feet truly are beautiful. I take care of them. A little foot maintenance goes a long way. I have no cause for foot shame.

Upon arrival at his abode, I snagged a beer and settled into a chair strategically located next to a bowl of cheesy poofs. Cheesy poofs, beer and football are a winning combination. I propped my feet comfortably on the ottoman.

Our host glanced over and, with gallant inflection, offered me a pair of socks.

I wonder what Miss Manners would advise in such a situation.

.

18 comments:

StealthBadger said...

Dunno about Emily Post, but I would reccommend hosing him down with about half a can of silly string.

Wait, it was his place?

Just a quarter-can, then.

*cheesy grin*

KMae said...

So what'd you do, take the sox?

the only daughter said...

I think Miss Manners would have suggested he include the socks requirement in the invitations. Otherwise, he should just grin and (bare) it.

~m~ said...

ah feet! I think they are sexy! But I suppose this is not the time nor the place for me to wax poetic about the erotic nature of kissing and rubbing someones feet huh? ooops, I think I just did.

eh well you know me... maybe next time take some socks with toes in them in horrible bright colors.

I with you though, foot maintenance goes a long way. I vote for the silly string suggestion.

Am I rambling? I am not sleeping again...

That Girl said...

It's really rude to say something about someone else's body parts, or indicate that a guest has a body part that is offensive.
Would you throw a guest a bandaid and ask them to cover up that mole/wart/pimple?
Rude!

maxine said...

I suggest that rather than finding other pretty feet offensive, perhaps he finds them delightful, thus giving him a boner problem to control in the offender's presence and quite possibly distracting him from the otherwise pleasant company and game. Cheesy poofs are rather phallic, no?

I think my response would have been to thank him, but tell him no thanks as I have plenty of socks at home I could have worn should that have been my desire.

k. said...

I think I'd like to know what happened next.

weese said...

Hmm, wearing someone's socks...hmm. nope.

I suppose if they were brand new socks, emblazoned with your favorite team's logo...that may have helped.

sporksforall said...

Miss Manners (of whom I am a huge fan) does not tolerate rudeness. The offering of socks...stepped a toe over the rude border (however nicely offered). MM would suggest politely turning them down. I know, I have her autograph. :)

tiff said...

Don't care about the dude and his issues; I want to know what your foot maintenance regimen is!

Mexigogue said...

I have a co-worker who wears open toe sandals. Her toes are so long I told her she could deal cards with them. For some reason she got mad.

Sarah said...

I think Ms. Manners would've said, "Thank you for the kind gesture, but my BEAUTIFUL feet require air to stay looking so AMAZING".

What a trip!

Anonymous said...

I don't even like my "own" feet. So I guess you know what I would be commenting. :-)
BTW, your beautiful feet didn't actually "touch" the cheese puffs? Or get near them? Or foot breath breeze over them?
Yep, I dislike feet.
Yep, I'm single. *grin*

WordsRock said...

I adore the silly string idea. Too bad I didn't have a can in my pocket!

I should note that when our host posed the question, he had a look on his face knowing it was an outrageous suggestion. But that didn't stop him from asking!

I did not borrow his socks. Ick. Lord knows where his feet have been!

tiff, my foot care regime is simple. Pumice stone in the shower, faithfully applied. Mary Kay Satin Hands products, also faithfully applied. A wonderful girlfriend who keeps my toenail polish in good shape. Voila! Lovely feet. Oh. That and genetically good foot features. I'm quite the package, dontcha know.

mexigogue, I'd consider that a compliment.

Anon, there was no mingling of the toes or feet with the cheesy poofs. I am relieved to say the thought did not even cross my mind. :)

Elizabeth said...

You made no mention of the boner comment. I think it's the boner problem. LOL! Go Max.

~Deb said...

Okay, number one, you have pedicured feet. MAJOR PLUS FACTOR THERE. I can see if you had a bad case of athlete's foot or a huge hammer toe. (ba!!!) But, that's just weird.

I have this male friend who is OBSESSED with woman's feet. He's gay---YET----he is in love with womens' feet---pedicured and all. I'm not sure how to take this 'fetish', but he keeps wanting to rub my feet.

Instead of putting socks on, I stuck a sock in his mouth.

So, it COULD be worse! ;)

Eyes said...

I suspect Ms. Manners would say he is the host, it is his house -- and things go by his rules. If you don't like it -- you don't go -- crazy as it is. Or, well, you don some socks provided by said host LOL.

NOW, if he comes over to your house -- you should all be barefoot! LOL If he don't like it -- well, he can offer you all sock (grin, grin).

Toooo funny

SassyFemme said...

I don't know about Miss Manners, but if "socks required" wasn't on the invite, I'd wear the most revealing flip flops possible, just to be a pain. :)