April 8, 2007

Hair Bands Gone Wild?

I knocked a hair band off the bathroom counter and it rolled across the floor, catching the corner of my eye. I startled. My imagination saw an insect. A fast moving insect. Like those fuzzy centipede things that lived in and around the house we used to live in. Except this one was black! I was relieved to discover it was but a hair band. I retrieved it and made a ponytail with my hair.

Those centipede things. I remember them vividly. They ventured everywhere in that house. They moved like the wind and came in all sizes, the largest I encountered was three inches in length but he had smaller kin. Only one color though, a tawny beige. They had hair. Or stuff that looked like hair. Little fuckers were as fast as lightning.

There was no "catch and release" program for those things, oh hell no. There was a "slap fast and wild with any handy shoe or newspaper and hope you hit them even though you don't really want to squash them because it's oogie and they splat but it's the only way and they have got to go!" program. We didn't see them often enough to develop a true technique.

When The Boy and I first moved into that house, we discovered a nest of them in the basement storage area. We got something to spray on it. Killing Stuff. Then we rock-paper-scissored to see which one of us would spray that nest. He lost. I fitted a mask to his 13-year-old face and armed him with the Killing Stuff. He did the job.

We don't have many bugs in this house. A few spiders. A cricket or two. But nothing like those centipede things. For that, among many other things, I am grateful.

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10 comments:

Jane said...

For a moment, I thought this post was going to be about heavy metal bands of the 1980s!

My main hair band problem at home is that the kitten knocks them off of tables and countertops, plays with them and then loses them under heavy pieces of furniture.

Zoe said...

Those centipede things are only about the creepies things ever. Unfortunately for me, I'm the bug killer in our house. I try to act all brave and shit when it comes to centipedes, cause you know it gets me...um, I mean it scores me points with my beloved, but they really skeeve me out. Big time.

j said...

The technical name for them is "Bazillipede." Actually, it's just household centipede and they're disgusting. We usually see one or two a year (thankfully, that's it) here.

They are the most disgusting house bug, ever. And they move so freakin' fast....

weese said...

I have to wonder... if we had those 'bazillipedes' would my gentle wife concede to its killing.
they have way too many legs.

all winter we keep getting these squash bugs in the house. i continually toss them out the back door with a warning not to come back. I am still not certain if I keep tossing out the same one...or if we have several.

the only daughter said...

Once in a blue-gray moon I get one of those ..pede thingys. They are usually high on the wall when I see them and of course I (would) send the tallest one up after it. That is, if he were ever home.

Gina said...

Living right above a park, we have oodles of crawly things around here. It's one of the drawbacks.

SassyFemme said...

Ewww, centipedes rank up there in nastiness with scorpions.

Gunfighter said...

For a moment, I thought this post was going to be about heavy metal bands of the 1980s!

Me too!

How are you, Suzanne?

Sarah said...

Ok. Gross.

agoodlistener said...

Thanks to that amazingly accurate (not to mention highly scientific) description, I know which bugs you are talking about. I woke up one night last summer and one of them was nonchalantly sprawled on my chest. I about jumped out of my skin as it shot across the bed and into hyperspace.