A Hunerd Thangs

Since many of you have identified my guest-blogger role this week as an opportunity to "get to know" me, I offer you my list of 100 things:

1. I’m an avid reader and a bit of a computer geek.
2. I adore football and baseball.
3. I have many crooked fingers and toes. Thanks, mom.
4. I wear makeup for work and social occasions.
5. I often spend way too much time on my hair, yet am rarely satisfied with the results.
6. I wear heels to work daily.
7. I’m comfortable in a dress, but prefer wearing jeans when I can.
8. Although I more often do the dishes, I am perfectly capable of cooking and sometimes even enjoy doing so.
9. I adore shoes.
10. I keep my fingernails moderately long.
11. I just laugh and smirk when friends ask how fingernails are congruent with lesbian sex.
12. I’m responsible for mowing the yard.
13. I enjoy using power tools.
14. In high school, I was both a Band and Choir geek. Saxophones rule! Altos rule!
15. I typically volunteer to take the heavier/more unwieldy items when we are carrying things.
16. I don’t mind heights, and routinely assume such tasks as scrambling on the roof to clean the gutters.
17. I dislike carrying a purse and rarely do.
18. I love to wear tank tops without a bra… when I can get away with it.
19. It’s a fun way to give Suzanne a cheap thrill.
20. I also love to don a baseball cap and pull my ponytail through the back… when I can get away with it.
21. I’m quite clumsy.
22. I have never been hospitalized.
23. I think I’ve cracked my tailbone and maybe some toes once or twice… but I’ve never had a “serious” broken bone.
24. I taught myself to play the piano.
25. I’m not very good at it though, because I never actually learned to read bass clef.
26. Every other member of my immediate family resides within 10 miles of my childhood home in small town Texas.
27. I live about 1600 miles from them.
28. I miss them but cannot imagine living there since "escaping" in 1996.
29. I find self-confidence very sexy.
30. I find arrogance beyond distasteful.
31. Intelligence and competence are two other traits I am drawn to.
32. Therefore, I despise our president.
33. I also have less respect for people who persist in supporting him. (How can my parents be so blind?)
34. I drive like a bat out of hell.
35. I commute at least two hours daily, and have done so for about ten years.
36. Yes, you could play “connect the dots” with the points on my driving record.
37. My father has one green eye and one brown eye.
38. I adore my daddy.
39. I prefer beer to wine.
40. It took me years to decipher Suzanne’s family with all of the stepparents and stepsiblings.
41. I am exceedingly fond of most of them, and am in many ways closer to her family than my own.
42. I would do anything for her sister.
43. I think Suzanne is the most amazing parent on the planet.
44. I’m a fool for my dogs.
45. My salt intake is ridiculous – and I like it that way.
46. I tend to prefer sappy ballads and dark (minor key) music.
47. I love “chick flicks.”
48. I hate stereotyping – particularly of my lesbianism or the fact that I’m a native Texan.
49. I cannot two-step. Big fucking deal.
50. I’ve been blessed with some of the best friends in the world.
51. I do a lousy job of maintaining contact with most of them.
52. I tend towards the “a place for everything and everything in its place” philosophy.
53. That’s one area where Suzanne and I are a bit different.
54. My mother is a hard-core genealogist and something of a socialite in aforementioned small town Texas.
55. I have such a terrible sense of direction that I can get lost in my own neighborhood.
56. I love nuts by themselves but don’t think they have any place in other foods like desserts, Chinese food, etc.
57. I’m not a big fan of sweets, or of breads.
58. I do not like to be the center of attention.
59. I feel badly for people with allergies who cannot know the joys of pet ownership.
60. I pity those who are not naturally good spellers or struggle with basic grammar concepts.
61. I am a ridiculous procrastinator.
62. I print/write in very small letters.
63. I don’t really speak with a Southern accent, unless I am interacting with someone who does or I’ve been drinking... or I'm trying to be funny (like the title of this post.)
64. My hometown was populated by WASPs, “southern” blacks, and Mexicans. I now work with Jews, Africans, Asians, Middle Easterners… and Hispanics from Peru, Guatemala, Venezuela, and Spain, but not Mexico.
65. Not surprisingly, “Mexican” food in Virginia is NOT what I’m accustomed to.
66. It’s bothering me that I left two sentences with a preposition at the end but I’m not going to change them (“food to which I’m unaccustomed” just sounds too pretentious).
67. One of my brothers is the definition of “redneck”.
68. Somehow, he seems to like Suzanne.
69. And oddly enough, we like him.
70. One of my brothers is prematurely gray, the other prematurely bald.
71. I am neither.
72. I think Suzanne has the most beautiful eyes imaginable.
73. I also love her silver hair.
74. And her sense of humor.
75. And the fact that she can consistently kick my ass in Scrabble.
76. I have an absolutely awful track record with houseplants.
77. I’m a bit of a pyromaniac when it comes to our fireplace.
78. I resemble an excited six-year-old when I get to see snow.
79. I sometimes get scared in my own home if I’m alone at night.
80. That’s what I get for watching horror movies for so many years. Thanks, Jamie Lee.
81. I can sing the melody or the harmony to most Indigo Girls songs.
82. I love harmony.
83. I love lesbian-oriented fiction, movies with lesbian characters, and actresses/athletes/celebrities that are “out.”
84. I have very, very few lesbian friends.
85. It surprises me how poorly written most lesbian-themed fiction and movie plots are.
86. I can kill hours on a weekend watching “Law and Order” reruns.
87. Yes, I think Mariska Hargitay is hot.
88. And Angie Harmon, of course.
89. I also really enjoy watching the World Series of Poker.
90. And women’s college fast-pitch softball on ESPN.
91. I married my high school sweetheart when I was 19.
92. I still have the notes he wrote me in high school.
93. I owned a motorcycle for a couple of years.
94. I loved riding it, but never actually got a motorcycle license.
95. I am excited to see where The Boy’s theatre career will take him.
96. I have worked in human services assisting people with disabilities since I was 19.
97. I adore lazy Saturday mornings with my girlfriend, my dogs, and a cup of coffee.
98. Dudley is my second basset hound. Buford was the first.
99. I think funny-looking dogs need funny names.
100. I think it’s hilarious that I have AOL to thank for the wonder of sharing my life with Suzanne.

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