June 11, 2007

Other Duties as Assigned

Did you know I am a professional party planner? No? You thought I was a bookkeeper, didn't you? So did I.

Speaking of being a bookkeeper, I was snoozing to a cheesy Lifetime movie recently. Snoozing and TV-watching are perfect companions on a suburban afternoon. I can't be the only one who feels that way. Why else would there be so much crappy crap on TV if not to help an afternoon snoozer snooze?

So anyway, that cheesy Lifetime movie. Here's the scene: a pathetic young woman who still lives at home and her overbearing mother are having a heated conversation in the kitchen. "But I applied for a promotion at the restaurant, the hostess job!" the daughter whines. "You don't think I want to be a bookkeeper for the rest of my life, do you?"

My drooping eyes snapped open. WTF? How rude. What's she got against being a bookkeeper!? And she thinks a restaurant hostess is a step up? Yeesh. I groped for the remote, found it near my right hand and switched the channel. Ah. Baseball. That's good for napping too.

I like being a bookkeeper but I'm not much of a party planner. However since I was given the assignment, I am doing my best to rise to the occasion. Since it's work-related, I shouldn't really talk about it. The office is hush-hush non-blog fodder after all. Let's simply say it will be a rather formal affair at a fancy hotel in Old Town.

The party planning hasn't been as odious as I initially anticipated. Turns out fancy hotels in Old Town have great staff to help folks like me plan a party. Don't tell anyone, but I'm almost enjoying it. Next thing you know, I'll be tossing aside my red pencils and applying for a job as a restaurant hostess. Sure, sure I will.

Coming soon: Just what will this suburban lesbian wear to a rather formal affair at a fancy hotel in Old Town? And whatever will I do with my hair? I'm not quite sure yet, but I've got two weeks to figure it out. Wish me luck.



Gina said...

Afternoon tv sucks.

And I can't imagine anyone would think hostessing at a restaraunt would be better than being a bookkeeper. Seriously.

And see what happens when you sit there watching the grass grow! ;)

weese said...

o I can't wait.

just so you know I would frequent any establishment where you were hostess-ing.

Middle Girl said...

The cable carrier could banish Lifetime and I wouldn't bat an eye.

Planning? Hair? Formal? Dizzy with the possibilities, implications. ;)

Luck to ya.

SassyFemme said...

Your adoring public expects pictures of the dress and hair! :)

Unknown said...

My brother-in-law calls Lifetime the "I Hate Men Channel" and I have to agree. Most of the tv movies on there are about these defenseless women seeking revenge, etc. But definitely snooze time for me at times. I have not been home enough to watch much of anything lately, but Lifetime is on the radar if I am back home in suburbia. Out here in Washington, it's mostly Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives. LOL.

Unknown said...

Sassy, I agree with you, too btw...PICTURES!!!

Val said...

Agree with the crowd - please provide pics of hair and outfit!

And hostessing at a restaurant is SO not a step up from bookkeeping - but rather 5 steps DOWN!

Anonymous said...

what the fuck is that?

yes pictures, please!

Suzanne said...

Anon, what the fuck that was is history. :)

eb said...

Just for the record, I wasn't 'anon' on this one although you might know who anon is but if not, it's not me.

I think you should shave your head. It will give bookkeepers everywhere a more 'rad' reputation.

Also, I think that bookkeepers could benefit from a shorter, cooler name. Like, 'The Keepers.' You could have turf wars with the software Q/A people.

Then someone can make a Liftime movie about this kid who wants to be a bookkeeper but her mom begs and pleads that she not enter 'that life.'

tiff said...

Hey - can I come? I'll be in Old Town this weekend! :>

Teresa said...

If only to cement the stupidity of the line from the Lifetime movie, I started as a hostess in the restaurant I worked at and was later promoted to waiter. (And then lead waiter! Please hold your applause.)

As to party planning, nothing says fiesta! like a bag of Tostitos and supermarket salsa!