July 25, 2007

A Hypothetical Question

Let's say you have a child.

Let's say said child is all grown up.

Let's say circumstances dictate said grown-up child appear fully naked within your field of vision.

Do you:
  1. Not notice?
  2. Pretend to not notice?
  3. Intently scrutinize an imagined scuff on the toe of your shoe?
  4. Cover your eyes and squeeze them tightly shut?
  5. Cover your eyes but peek between your fingers?
  6. Openly and objectively inspect how your sweet adorable widdle baby turned out as an adult?
  7. Some combination of the above?
  8. Other? (Please be specific.)

Thank you for your time and have a nice day.



Anonymous said...

notice how said child developed and matured...

Anonymous said...

It all depends.

If my child was running around nekkid on the side of the freeway and the local nightly news was his 15 minutes of fame, I'd cover my eyes but peek between my fingers - then I'd deny being his mother.

If, in your case, the child is in a stage production of a famous musical I would openly and objectively inspect how my sweet, adorable baby turned out as an adult.

It's all in the staging of the nekkidness.


Syd said...

I'm really not adult enough to answer. The very thought makes me cringe.

Props to you for handling it maturely (I assume).

sporksforall said...

I've got to agree with eb. Be objective but look and assess. You're the best judge of how significantly things have changed. Knowing is always better than not knowing. :)

maxine said...

Just don't tell him Wendy's is bigger. If Wendy's isn't bigger, you need to go shopping.

C said...

I would notice, but pretend not to notice and act like it was no big deal. That's about as mature as I can (pretend to) be. :)

Gina said...

Ok, since mine still is a baby and I see him naked on a daily basis, I'm not sure.

Pretend not to notice?

Anonymous said...

Damn..I KNOW I would giggle

SassyFemme said...

I honestly can't being to imagine how I'd handle this! I think I'd probably look away.

Val said...

That's a tough one... but on the other hand, how do you think HE feels BEING naked on the stage knowing his Mom is in the audience???!!
Honestly, though, I'd have to look (and with others on the stage, as well, I'd imagine it'd be easy not to just stare at him, no?!)

Good luck and I'm sure you'll blog about the experience, or I sure hope you do!

Anonymous said...

It's the only shot you get at this stage to inspect the family jewels, Gramma. -MAW

KellyNerd said...

a new reader so HELLO!

Thought this was funny! My friend Marf wrote something similar... here is the link (and pic!)


Im going to add you to my blogroll??? that ok??

tiff said...

I'd be looking. Openly.

Sometimes I think I stop looking at my kids, assuming I know them and what htey look like. When take a really good look though I find they've changed. Naked or not, I think I'd be trying to see him as other people do, to appreciate the thing that is this human you think you know so well.

And then I'd be grateful if nobody ELSE who saw him nekkid ever commented on it. :>

Matthew said...


"Why are you walking around naked? Put some clothes on, you creepy bastard.....YOU ARE NOT MY SON!!!"

(P.s. I'm writing from the local desk at thenewsroom.com and noticed how great your blog is. A lot of locally-based bloggers use our site for content and thought you might be interested!)

Dave said...

Pretend not to notice and say nothing of it!

He says: "Mom, did you like the play?"

You Respond: "Why, yes. It was enjoyable. Oh, and there were nekkid people there, but I was too far from the stage to see who they were."

When I was about 13 or 14, I went to the doctor for something that involved having to have the doctor inspect my privates. My mom used the opportunity to see how things had progressed, I suppose, since she had last changed the diapers.

Had she stayed for the whole thing, I could have written it off as wanting to chaperon, but her quick visual inspection then immediately leaving the room made it obvious what was going on.

I could imagine thoughts of her telling my dad, "Yep, he got genes from your side of the family" (and making that index finger close to thumb sign).

So, no matter what, pretend you didn't realize he was nekkid.

TaraDharma said...

ok, how 'bout shoutin' out, "You're beautiful honey! Mom loves you!"


the only daughter said...

If he's on stage & neither daughter or grandma are with me I'd #6.

If he's on stage & daughter and or grandma are with me I'd #1.

If he's not on stage I'd tell him to put some damn clothes on.

weese said...

i would look.
i want to know.
hey... i taught him how to use that thing (well... meaning how to point it in the right direction while peeing)
i taught him how to clean it, care for it, honor it...
so yeah... i'm looking. i wanna see how it all turned out.

Jennifer said...

For the sake of all that is sacred, I hope I never face this same scenario. I shudder to think. It's bad enough that I'm still cleaning my now grown up child's bathroom, for god's sake.

matt said...

personnally as a child of a parent (well who isnt!!) i wud pretend not to notice id die if my parents did see anything embarassing and say something

Bitsy Parker said...

Avoiding that question.

My point- you're a funny writer, though I think I am pretending you are friend of mine and I'm visualizing your writing out of her mind. This friend is funny, don't worry.

Hahn at Home said...

One of my sons would have been sure to leave me off the invite list. It would be his issue, not mine! I like the cover the eyes thing. Yeah, that's what I'd go with.

Kris said...

Interesting...because the reaction is always sheer terror when we see our parents' bits and pieces...

I guess it depends on what said child is doing to warrant nakedness. Ron Jeremy style? "Fuck yeah, that's my boy!" Paris Hilton raccoon-eyed internet porn? "Oh dear god...is it too late to drown her?"

Debbie said...

Well ... my daughter is a theatrical actress and I've been lucky enough to not have to deal with this situation ... yet.

But normally if I know I'm acount to encounter adult nudity of any kind, I cover my eyes and blush. So that's probably what I'd do.

I'll bet that of the 3 of you - he and Wendy were probably a lot more embarrassed.

That Girl said...

My sister was in Voyuers and she refused to go naked the night my dad came to see it.
He said he was gonna just go but not watch.
Personally, I vote for number 8 - be awkward and at various times do all other 7 things.

Sarah said...

Wow, what the hell happened there? LMAO! I don't think I'd feel right looking at my grown up adult "child" completely nude in front of me, no. I'd look down on the floor and shake my head most likely.

Granny said...

At home? Pretend not to notice or say oops and turn my head. It would probably bother him more than it would me.

In the cast of Hair? That's different because I'd be expecting it.

Congratulations (or break a leg) to your son.

Oh, I just came over from Gina's Just Another Day. I was surfing her blogroll and the title caught my eye..

Ann (aka granny)

Trish said...

I brought him into this world, I think I'm entitled to a peek now and then to make sure things are as they should be. That doesn't mean I'm going to go around ogling my kid, but if a situation arose where I could get a glimpse? Yeah. I'd look.

agoodlistener said...

Nope. None of my business. Very high ick factor.

KMae said...

I would definately LOOK.
For sure.