October 20, 2005

I'm Just a Soul Whose Intentions Are Good....

Trish over at Busted Stuff has been known to call kettle corn her own personal crack. Crack being, of course, that ever-so-addictive derivative of cocaine. I enjoy the occasional snack of kettle corn too, but not nearly as much as she does. She hasn't mentioned it recently. Perhaps she kicked the habit.

I told a lie to a friend about my own form of personal crack, although it wasn't a lie when I told it. Truly I intended to avoid it, to not purchase any more. Truly I intended not to ingest any more. Truly I intended to avoid even the sight or smell of any more of the lusciousness that creates such a gluttonous craving deep within. Out of sight, out of mind. That's the ticket.

It started this year with one little bag. One little eleven ounce bag. "Just this one," I rationalized, "I'll share it with Wendy." Then I blinked and before I knew it said bag was empty, the goodness inside vanished as if it had never existed, gone like a puff of smoke. I was physically ill, oh yes I was. How could I have let such a thing happen? I hadn't even shared.

The friend I lied to suffers my same addiction. I'd just confessed to him my experience with that little eleven ounce bag. He nodded his head knowingly. Then I lied. I said I was through with it, that I'd not expose myself to such temptation again. I just didn't know it was a lie at the time.

Foolish me. Foolish endcap in the drug store brimming with the irresistably bright packages filled with what evidently is my own personal crack. Foolish sign proclaiming them a bargain at 99¢. Foolish way my hand mindlessly reached out and added a sack to my basket. Foolish way there are now but a handful left.

At least I managed to share with Wendy this time.

Perhaps I should dip them in mustard.
Maybe that would cure my addiction.



Anonymous said...

Have you ever mixed up a candy corn with salted peanuts? Together they taste just like a Payday bar. (But I'd still go for the kettle corn first.)

Anonymous said...

Not "a candy corn" but a bag of candy corn. That what I get for foregoing "preview" on my comments.

ellipsis said...

Oh, sister, you so nailed me.

I am a hoe for the harvest colored candy corn--with the chocolate bottoms.

I also admit that I actually eat the pumkins that come in the mix bags, and I delude myself by focusing on the fat-free-ness of it all. But that does no good when I inhale the whole damn bag. But so far this year I have resisted.





elswhere said...

So, if one gave out mustard to trick-or-treaters, could that person be arrested for corrupting minors? And would it be worth it, if I, I mean *cough* that person, could keep the candy corn for herself?

Bent Fabric said...

Candy corn is one of my faves. So is Swedish Fish. :)

Gina said...

Although they are a fairly tasty seasonal thing, candy corn just doesn't cut it for me.

Have we moved on from the Trader Joe's fruit thingys then?

I bet that I could eat some chocolate covered pretzels every day and never get tired of them.

But, I haven't eaten them in years since I truly get addicted to them, and they are nowhere near fat-free.

Anonymous said...

I never knew anyone who likes candy corn before.

Anonymous said...

elsewhere...meting out mustard to minors is malicious and makes me...um...mopey? No...um...mean? No..er...massage my mollusk? No...um...mooscilantranakish. Yes, mooscilantranakish. That means I think you would be going to hell with Gina and Suzanne. Mel will be there too because she is the Spawn of Satan (her words not mine). All of Satan's spawns live with Satan. It's convenient that way. Although, giving out mustard is better than giving out ketchup.

I've been hooked on the CC before (that's what they call it on the street, they also call it Spin, Tweet and Grandma's Kickapoo).

I dropped that monkey after going into a sugar coma, falling down, craking my skull on the side a very nice occasional table I purchased from Lillian Vernon, breaking said table and then walking around in a daze and asking complete strangers if I could see their penguin collection.

I snapped to when I saw my Lillian Vernon table. I loved that table. I LOVED THAT TABLE. Sorry, it's emotional for me.

That was bottom. I couldn't go anywhere but up. Now I'm Tweet-Free for five years, 33 days, 7 hours, 18 minutes and 6 seconds.

Get help.


The secret word for the day is...

weese said...

these candy corn things clearly must contain crack...because they taste nasty.

Ross said...

Paulo loves you.


val said...

I absolutely agree about the candy corn... i am just thankful that they ARE seasonal or it'd be ugly!

The Scarlet Pervygirl said...

I used to eat like thirty of those damned little pumpkins at a sitting. I realize now, of course, that they are made of the same substance ("mallowcreme," which sounds less like food than an ingredient in an evil magical potion, possibly the one that causes you to gain forty pounds in your thighs with merely one swallow) as candy corn.

But I won't eat candy corn, because when I was five, I was introduced to the stuff while staying with my mom at her relatives', and after eating some--quite a bit, for a five-year-old, as I recall--I



A lot.

For two hours.


I still hold the candy corn responsible.

But damn, those little pumpkins are *awesome.*

Melodee said...

Hmmmm. Now I know what to get you for Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Paulo loves you???

We see how you are.


the determined dieter said...

As I started to read this my own hand was coincidentally in the bag of candy corn--the same brand and the same price! No wonder Brach's is a multi-million dollar corporation.

Anonymous said...

Yeah. Trying to limit ourselves to one bag didn't so much work around here, either. We're currently at the tail end of bag #3, and I'm ashamed to say that I'm finding myself as unlikely to share with my partner as you were.

Also, some afternoons I end up eating Way Too Much, and can easily see myself throwing up nonstop for two solid hours if I eat even one more piece.

Candy corn is Satan.

Anonymous said...

Save me some...I have now avoided buying any even though I have passed it at least twice. Now, I am wondering if I am doing so solely because I may go to the big store and BUY IT IN BULK....

Dora said...

I'm glad someone likes candy corn - cause I certainly dont.
To each his/her own, I guess ;)

red fish said...

I LOVE candy corn. Circus peanuts too. I usually eat them till I feel sick.

Anonymous said...

I just came back from a holiday in the US and brought back a bag of candy corn for my colleagues, having never tried it before. We have all sampled it and have decided that it is a never-ending bag of sugar. That is not a bad thing.

Trish said...

I haven't mentioned it lately, but I'm still a whore to my own personal crack. Good luck with that mustard thing ;)