August 28, 2006

Soon It Begins....

This past weekend was all about prepping for fantasy football drafts.

Our money league, the one in which I won $200 last year (yes I know, yesterday's news, but I cling to victories great and small), has a live draft. All twelve team owners gather at the appointed place at the appointed time. Some clutch reams of printouts with notes scribbled in the margins. Others tote laptop computers. One shows up with nary a scrap of paper or even a pencil in hand. That guy, history has proven, hasn't a hope in hell of ever making the playoffs.

A humongous whiteboard imposingly stands at attention at the front of the room. A large color-coded grid delineates drafting rounds and owner names. Usually there is a Hot Chick to record the player names in the appropriate slot as they are drafted by we owners. Invariably, the Hot Chick never accurately spells certain complex player names like "Houshmandzadeh" and "Roethlisberger" but then again, who does? When she trips over spelling "Smith" and "Jones," however, I'm glad she's got her looks to fall back on.

One may think the atmosphere would be relaxed. But no, oh no. Our fantasy football draft is serious business. A nervous tension hangs in the air. There is little banter, less laughter. There are no snacks or adult beverages. There will be plenty of time for all those things later.

I haven't quite decided what to wear to the event. I'm not sure it matters, but can it hurt to dress for success? I think not.

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I'm playing in another league this year too, no money involved. An online league. A league full of bloggers! The excitement is verily palpable! These owners are so laid back, we've already had someone volunteer to finish in last place. No, it's not me. I plan on winning.

In the interest of full disclosure, there are two non-blog team owners. We have room for two more teams if anyone wants to join us. Drop me a line.

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10 comments:

WenWhit said...

You're always sexy regardless of what you wear. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Dress on the coolish side, darlin. The conference room is the warmest in our suite.

~m~ said...

Oh dear...this poses quite a problem for me. I mean I became a lesbian to get away from all of this football stuff...

When I joined I was promised weekly readings of Virginia Woolfe and monthly Ellen Degeneres fan club parties...

I've been duped.

scout said...

~m~, you have been so duped! Lesbian interest in football was totally in my list of disclaimers when I signed up.

I have, however, been read Audre Lorde poetry in bed. Lesbians are a strange brew.

weese said...

sorry you were mislead ~m~, you see recruiting is high recently with all the hype about 'marriage' and all... and admittetly some recruiters will cut corners to make the deal.
also note - that while I am a card carrying member I cannot throw a ball.

Angela said...

I was told about the football, but I refused to believe it on the grounds that, at the time, I was under a serious delusion that women MADE TOTAL SENSE (and therefore couldn't possibly be interested in football *really*).

Now, I know the Truth. And lo, it sucks. There are far too few Virginia Woolf readings in the lesbian world, and far too many Raiders fans. =)

Gunfighter said...

I can't offer any insight about the draft... doubt if I could list ten active players in the NFL, but I'll be rooting for your team, S.

That I will.

WordsRock said...

Hey now y'all, none of that lesbian separatist talk! It takes all kinds.

Can't we all be friends?

scout said...

S., I believe you've tapped into the ultimate lesbian wedge issue.

Jennifer said...

No, really. My feelings aren't the least bit wounded that I wasn't included in the blogger fantay league. Don't be silly!

P.S. Wah!

:-)

Pisces75 said...

Man! I wish I had not taken so long to read your post!! I would've joined the other league. Good luck winning again this year!