Heterosexual couples have it easy. Their anniversary date is defined by long-standing tradition: the date of their marriage. Along the path to said wedding, they may have other "special" days they celebrate. Afterward, the daily grind of life as a married couple with an "official" anniversary may wear out the novelty and romance of those other "special" days. But they'll always have their anniversary, their real anniversary, the anniversary of their wedding date.
Wendy and I have discussed what date constitutes our anniversary. Since our union has not been blessed by any religious rite or government recognition, we have no standing tradition upon which to define our special day. Our ideas encompass the far-out silly to more socially conformed choices.
We get hung up on what "traditional" means for homosexual couples. Is there such a thing? If so, we have not yet been made privy to the secret. And that, my friends, is a major freaking oversight. We have been inner sanctum homosexuals for a long long time. We've actually written a chapter in the Official Guide to Homosexual Relationships (wanna guess the title of our chapter?).
I so don't want to use our first date, because it was just that, a date. Oh sure, it was a very significant date. Despite my usually poor memory, I can recall just about every minute of it. But it was like a week before my birthday. Heaven forbid special occasions, particularly occasions that tend to the gift-giving variety, are scheduled too close together.
How about the date of our first kiss? Believe it or not, we didn't kiss for quite a while after we started dating. Oh yes. We were quite chaste and proper. It just about killed us. And because I was so distracted with the concentration required to NOT rush into that first kiss, I truly cannot remember the exact date our lips first met. I do, however, remember the most recent time our lips met and it was just as enticing as the first. Ain't love grand?
The first time we slept together? That seems too personal a date to use. The day we started living together? That's got potential, but it cuts almost a year off the time I really feel we have been a couple. Well. I think it cuts off almost a year but since we can't figure out when our anniversary is, I don't know for sure. Perhaps the day we knew we'd be a couple forever? That presents an interesting puzzle. I feel like I've always known we'd be a couple forever.
Maybe none of this matters.
Maybe every day is our anniversary.
PS: Two things got me thinking about anniversaries and dates and other such trivia: Max and Elizabeth's ceremony and Weese and her wife celebrating twenty years together. Congrats to all of them with wishes for many more to follow!