Wendy and I quit smoking a while back, a while being five months one week three days and 13 hours. Approximately.
Wow. Seems like another lifetime.
In that lifetime, I have gained about fifteen pounds. Yes you read that right. FIFTEEN POUNDS! Is it any wonder I can't fit my fat ass into my clothes anymore? Well that's not exactly true. I can fit my fat ass into my clothes. But the results are truly unfortunate. Unless one enjoys looking and feeling like an overstuffed sausage: the Sausage Effect. Do you know what I mean? If not, take it from me. It's not something to which to aspire.
It's not just how I look in my clothes. I can't stand the way I've been physically feeling, naked or clothed. I am half-heartedly working on losing said fifteen extra pounds. Unfortunately I think I used up my quota of willpower giving up nicotine. It's an not-so-gentle reminder of my tendency to overindulge. Self-discipline and I, well, let's just say we've barely met.
In the interim, between now and when I (hopefully) eventually can again feel comfortable in my current wardrobe, I still have to get dressed most every day. And go out in public. And see people. And people see me. No one has mocked me for my weight gain. Yet. At least not to my face. The little voices in my head, however, are mocking overtime. Oh yeah. Self-mocking is the best. I could give lessons to any other aspiring mockers, self or otherwise.
We're going shopping today, Wendy and I.
To find something to wear that does not cause the Sausage Effect.
I need the illusion of normalcy.
Whatever that is.
6 comments:
I have always been a "big-boned" girl...quitting smoking has banished me to sweat pants and extra large t-shirts at home and "fat chick" jeans and extra large t-shirts at work...ah, the miracle of stretch jeans!
The weight gain is a bitch, but you should still be proud of your accomplishment. Bravo to you both on quitting smoking! It has almost been half a year...before you know it, it will be a whole year!! Keep up the good work.
Yay for you and Wendy! And about the weight - three words - South. Beach. Diet. Good fats, good protein, good carbs. (unfortuantely Lays potato chips and chocolate cake are not good carbs. But for those you have the three-bite rule). And walking. I took my first real walk of the year yesterday and can't believe I waited so long. But let's not forget the important part - you quit smoking! You rock.
I love your posts. They are funny, light-hearted and yet truthful. I know the "sausage effect" well. Today, my pants are about 4 inches too short! I'll blame it on the drier LOL. At least I hope it that. Thankfully, I won't be gracing anyone with my flooded presence today :)
C O N G R A T S on not smoking!
Yeah, yippee, wahooo. (dancing on the table for you)!
Don't give up.
I quit smoking about 10 years ago. Put on weight and have since taken it off.
I eat better than ever now.
To lose weight I used the old tried and true standard -- starvation!
But seriously, dieting never works. Change the way you eat, change what you eat. Not until the weight is gone - but from now on.
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