June 1, 2005

So Much Paper!

I am in a state of disbelief at the amount of paper I am responsible for pushing around every month. How did this become my metier? It no longer inspires. Instead, I feel buried. And bored.

Some news! I'm now a "regular" over at Emerald Pillows. I wanted to be a "large," but that slot was already filled by the always-lovely-and-ever-so-opinionated Elizabeth (mwah!). She and her partner put out a monthly publication filled with writing and such. Writing and such by lesbians. I fit right in because I am a lesbian and such. (In this case, I think that statement is actually true unlike the other times when I thought I should fit in because I'm a lesbian but then I didn't fit in at all because, like it or not, all lesbians don't always necessarily fit in with all other lesbians even though they may want to. Long live the run-on sentence ending in a preposition!)

So what does being a "regular" mean? Just that my name will appear regularly with my words somewhere besides this blog. In print and on the web. My vanity is growing along with the size of my ass. To view this month's edition in its print format, click on the PDF link at the top of the Emerald Pillows main page or read the contents by following the individual links on the left of the same page. Cool stuff within.

I envy Elizabeth's html skills and hope to wring some of her vast knowledge out of her head and absorb it into mine. Anyone know the proper grip for the Vulcan mind meld?

On second thought, a mind meld with her is too frightening to consider. I mean, really. And I don't scare easy.



Elizabeth said...

You oughta be in awe...word to yo momma.

I am not a large, *I* am a Venti. Don't ever get that wrong or yer out on yer ass. Mmmmmkay? You may refer to me as EPB, Whoop-de-doo Venti of the Lesbionic Order of Birkenstock. Mmmmkay? (I would have said Eddie Bauer but *someone else* already took that...beeotch).

Now that you've gotten all orgasmic over yourself, I need a column! Words! Let's get to it. Strict deadlines. That's us. Incomplete sentences. Really busy. Alchoholic beverages.

Glad to see you had an interesting time wit choo moms. I'll fill you in on my web prowess. One word. That's all you need to know.


WordsRock said...

See what I mean?
She's fucking nuts!
Venti nuts, even.

That Girl said...

Im so glad you're back! I missed you! I know you make fun but the truth is that when I read your posts it brings that cool, calm feeling of reading a book in the shade on a hot day. You rock!

Mel said...

Congratulations! (I was going to say "you rock" but someone beat me to it.)

weese said...

EB is mine alllll mine.

Career Guy said...

You do indeed rock (can't say it often enough). Congratulations on your writing coup. Nothing wrong with being a regular as opposed to a large, especially if the other choice is a 1X or something. elizabeth sounds scary--better get to work.

Elizabeth said...

Fucking nuts? Scary? Moi?

I like to think of myself as...colorful. Plus I'm a genius and therefore misunderstood. Why this escapes you and your fans is beyond my comprehension.

Have a lovely weekend.

Hmmm...maybe I'll visit John over at his little corner of cyberspace. Mwwwahahahaha...