June 14, 2005

Every So Often

I recently caught a ration of shit from some loved ones when I shared with them something I rather randomly wrote in my little green notebook. I read it aloud to them.

"I've thought how convenient it would be to be mentally ill. To have 'breakdowns' where all would gather around and tend to my needs. Where being in a medicated haze would be encouraged and no one would expect much."

It was interpreted as being disrespectful to persons with mental illness. I didn't intend it as such when I jotted it down. I was just feeling overwhelmed by life in general. Every so often I get the impulse to hide away somewhere. Scrap everything, find a cave in the wilderness and call it home.

That's a pretty big stretch considering how much I dislike camping.

.

20 comments:

trisha said...

I dunno. Isn't so much disrespectful. Though, in my family, no matter what ails me, I am told to ahke it off.

trisha said...

shake it off. Not ahke it off. I wouldn't even know how to do that.

Elizabeth said...

I could be wrong but I'm gonna guess that this was read to your in-laws who are from Texas, who revel in being whisked from Bush Int'l to Reagan Whatever and they're pulling this PC bullshit with you?!!!!

Nigga please...tell them they're being retards and that sort of whining is worthy of liberal wieners like Ted Kennedy and if they keep it up they'll lose they're Right-wing-Republican-holier-than-thou-everything-we-think-is-right-God-voted-for-our-guy-and-Texas-would-be-his-home-if-heaven-wasn't-such-a-grand-place Grand Casino Cushatta Card.

But, of course, I could be wrong.

WordsRock said...

Yes yes yes, you are wrong, Elizabeth. It was not my in-laws. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable sharing such a personal thought.

They sure do love Texas. There is no mental illness in Texas, doncha know.

What's up with the "nigga please"?? Don't you go getting all ethnic on me. It confuses me.

Trisha, yeah. Shake it baby, shake it!

Sam said...

Disrespectful? No. Absolutely not. But this is coming from someone who thinks birth control should be added to daily vitamin supplements.

Elizabeth said...

The dichotomy of using a popular slang term juxtaposed with the precept that political correctness from individuals who come from a culture diametrically opposed to such thinking and, henceforth, me being of Caucasian extraction and using the term now embraced by many African Americans as a way of reclaiming an non politically correct racial slur and thus turning it into said slang slogan and yet as a person of Caucasian extraction and henceforth it being politically incorrect for me to be using a term that has been removed by some from the realm of political incorrectness is used in a hyperbolic way such as to emphasize the point of the hypocritical stance of those insulted by your remarks.

See how that works?

You still should tell ‘the loved ones’ they’re being retards.

trisha said...

Haha! Elizabeth, you are FUNNY!

WordsRock said...

That cave is sounding more and more appealing...

Chris H. said...

Catching up on your entries, and I'm still stuck on the CNN article. I'd ask if you were pulling my leg had I not read it myself. OOOUCH!! What kinda crappy karma creates the dual discomfort of having to stowaway on an international flight and just before landing... being bodily ripped in half!? Sheesh! If your cave is not in use when you're done... will you send a map? I'd like to go into retreat to avoid aformentioned karma ripening! Congrats on your back yard though! Yay birthday suits!!

Bent Fabric said...

Wordsrock, As someone who is "mentally ill," I see no disrespect in your comments.

Elizabeth, I am African American, yet I neither embrace the word Nigga nor do I use it as a slang slogan. If the word is used in a pejorative way then naturally I would be perturbed. Otherwise it is simply not a part of my lexicon.

Mel said...

You scare me sometimes . . . only I dream of a terminal illness, one where I waste away by the shore, free from cooking, cleaning, wiping up snot and negotiating peace between terrorists (aka my children). But hush. That's a secret between you and me.

Jennifer said...

You know, I can feel exactly where you were in the moment you wrote it down.

Their interpretation is all in the lack of context. Some things require it. Some people understand when it's implied.

I totally got it, babe.

Nickie said...

I happen to be mentally ill and I don't think anything disrespectful of your comments. *big hugs*

Gina said...

I get it, my friend. I am with Jennifer.

Eyes said...

I so totally understand, too.

There is something blissful about not having to go on at times, and not having to be accountable to anyone about anything.

weese said...

pass the valium please

That Girl said...

We all feel like that - I call it the shoeshine moments. Those times when I am feeling overwhelemed and I see these Mormon boys (we get a lot of em around here). They all look so spiffy, as if they have life figured out and are in control and the urge to throw myself in front of them and agree to believe any nonsense in the exchange for momentarily giving up control is appealing to some part of me. They have such shiny shoes...

Big hugs!

Smitten Kitten said...

I can't tell you how many times I have felt that same way. I have actually researched to see if i could fake being catatonic.. looks pretty hard

I Am The Walrus said...

Wouldn't you think that they would recognize that just "feeling" like you wanted to be crazy was an indication that maybe you needed a little extra something or other? Me, I refuse to give up crazy...When I don't want to deal with it, (it, being anything) I just fall back on slobber coming out of the corner of my mouth and rocking in my chair...they leave me alone.

Ozfemme said...

Heh...that was funny. Last time I had a breakdown (I'm quite the accomplished mental health case basket) I don't remember anyone - family or otherwise - gathering around. I do remember having to drag my sorry ass up out and off to work each day and continuing to look after my two children. I vaguely remember various coloured pills I had to take each morning and night that made me forget things I had to do each day - silly things like bill payments and grocery shopping. I so want a breakdown like the one you just described! What's up with people? Mental Health Issues can be a lot of fun!!!!