I recently caught a ration of shit from some loved ones when I shared with them something I rather randomly wrote in my little green notebook. I read it aloud to them.
"I've thought how convenient it would be to be mentally ill. To have 'breakdowns' where all would gather around and tend to my needs. Where being in a medicated haze would be encouraged and no one would expect much."
It was interpreted as being disrespectful to persons with mental illness. I didn't intend it as such when I jotted it down. I was just feeling overwhelmed by life in general. Every so often I get the impulse to hide away somewhere. Scrap everything, find a cave in the wilderness and call it home.
That's a pretty big stretch considering how much I dislike camping.
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13 comments:
Yes yes yes, you are wrong, Elizabeth. It was not my in-laws. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable sharing such a personal thought.
They sure do love Texas. There is no mental illness in Texas, doncha know.
What's up with the "nigga please"?? Don't you go getting all ethnic on me. It confuses me.
Trisha, yeah. Shake it baby, shake it!
Disrespectful? No. Absolutely not. But this is coming from someone who thinks birth control should be added to daily vitamin supplements.
That cave is sounding more and more appealing...
Catching up on your entries, and I'm still stuck on the CNN article. I'd ask if you were pulling my leg had I not read it myself. OOOUCH!! What kinda crappy karma creates the dual discomfort of having to stowaway on an international flight and just before landing... being bodily ripped in half!? Sheesh! If your cave is not in use when you're done... will you send a map? I'd like to go into retreat to avoid aformentioned karma ripening! Congrats on your back yard though! Yay birthday suits!!
Wordsrock, As someone who is "mentally ill," I see no disrespect in your comments.
Elizabeth, I am African American, yet I neither embrace the word Nigga nor do I use it as a slang slogan. If the word is used in a pejorative way then naturally I would be perturbed. Otherwise it is simply not a part of my lexicon.
You scare me sometimes . . . only I dream of a terminal illness, one where I waste away by the shore, free from cooking, cleaning, wiping up snot and negotiating peace between terrorists (aka my children). But hush. That's a secret between you and me.
You know, I can feel exactly where you were in the moment you wrote it down.
Their interpretation is all in the lack of context. Some things require it. Some people understand when it's implied.
I totally got it, babe.
I happen to be mentally ill and I don't think anything disrespectful of your comments. *big hugs*
I get it, my friend. I am with Jennifer.
I so totally understand, too.
There is something blissful about not having to go on at times, and not having to be accountable to anyone about anything.
pass the valium please
Wouldn't you think that they would recognize that just "feeling" like you wanted to be crazy was an indication that maybe you needed a little extra something or other? Me, I refuse to give up crazy...When I don't want to deal with it, (it, being anything) I just fall back on slobber coming out of the corner of my mouth and rocking in my chair...they leave me alone.
Heh...that was funny. Last time I had a breakdown (I'm quite the accomplished mental health case basket) I don't remember anyone - family or otherwise - gathering around. I do remember having to drag my sorry ass up out and off to work each day and continuing to look after my two children. I vaguely remember various coloured pills I had to take each morning and night that made me forget things I had to do each day - silly things like bill payments and grocery shopping. I so want a breakdown like the one you just described! What's up with people? Mental Health Issues can be a lot of fun!!!!
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