In Northern Virginia, where I was raised, it's transient. There are many military installations, federal government offices, schools, etc. Families pop in for a few years and then pop off to some other place or maybe back from whence they came. People come and go and go and come and come and go.
Not everyone leaves of course. A few of us stick. Another few are homegrown.
In Wendy's hometown, the people who leave are aberrant. And those that do usually don't go far. Most folks she knew while growing up still live in the same general vicinity. Everyone knows everyone else. We'd be out to lunch somewhere and Wendy's folks would be saying hello left and right. "Hey, there's *insert name* from our *insert social group*." And the relatives. Wow. They have cousins and siblings and nieces and children of varying ages sizes shapes and types.
Even Wendy got in on it when she saw folks she knew. And she
My cousins, the few of them that even exist, are removed to the sixth degree of generational detachment or some such nonsense (I'm much too young to be into genealogy, so don't be looking for specifics). Even my immediate family is spread geographically, separated into four states. And to count my step-siblings, you'd have to add three more states to the list. None of us live in or even near the same town as each other. We all get along just fine, we just don't happen to live close.
Wendy's parents have not strayed far from their hometowns. Her mom is from a town six miles west. Her dad is from a different town 12 miles east. Liberty, where they raised their family and still reside, is in between.
And that's where things begin to get tricky. Both parents have strong family ties to the towns from whence they came. Both parents have roomy family cemeteries in the towns from whence they came. Cemeteries where a slew of their forebears are laid to rest. How do families handle this sort of thing? Is the wife buried in the husband's family plot? Is the husband buried in the wife's family plot? Do they split up and each get buried in their own family's plot? Do they start a new plot? Are one or the other's feelings hurt if one or the other decides to be buried in their own family plot? Seems likes a dicey decision to make.
I don't much care where my ashes end up.
I don't even wonder why not.
4 comments:
Hey - I'm so glad you are back. I came by last week, and was sad when I didn't see any posts. No worries, I I realized you were on vac but I had to check anyway! Welcome home :) Did you have a nice time?
Great observations. I love your writing.
That whole everyone-lives-together-in-or-near-the-hometown thing is totally alien to me, too. The 4 members of my immediate family live in 3 far-flung corners of this country, plus one on a whole other continent. I can't imagine what my life would be like if we all lived in the same town.
Well I can, sort of, but I can't decide if it'd be better or worse.
M and I have the same difference between us. I grew up in a town like Liberty only it was in Arkansas. She had a transient Virginia family because her dad was/is a minister, and they got relocated every five or so years. I'll have to show this post to M because she loves telling stories about my hometown. She finds it quite something.
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