What is popcorn?
And before you say "It's popped corn, dumbass", let me point out that I'm after something deeper than a mere literal definition. I know what popcorn is.
Now I want to know what it is.
As in where does it fit on the food pyramid?
My friend Tina, who was munching popcorn at the time and is therefore responsible for this thought rattling around in my head, opined it's a vegetable. Being that it's corn and all.
But popcorn? A vegetable?
That doesn't seem right.
I looked up the food pyramid. One that I found had a graphic of a little ear of corn tucked amongst the vegetables in the vegetable and fruit section of said pyramid. Confirmation that corn is indeed a vegetable on the food pyramid. Perhaps I am the only one who appreciates visual confirmation of something we all already knew.
But does that mean anything made from corn, such as popcorn, is also a vegetable? Because by that logic, there are many other foods that would be considered vegetables while at the same time cannot logically be considered vegetables. Despite being made from corn.
Like grits. And tortillas. And Fritos. And Corn Pops.
A corn dog could then be considered a well-rounded meal. Even moreso if one eats it with ketchup applied. But that's just wrong in so many ways.
Yet I just cannot escape the logic Tina applied to popcorn. It is corn. Just like you'd get off a cob or out of a can or from a frozen box of Green Giant Niblets Corn & Butter Sauce. And it tastes better with butter and salt, just like grits.
Obviously a vegetable.
Has to be.