November 3, 2004

Equality Is a Fantasy?

I, like 48% of other Americans, am disappointed with the results of the elections.

While I’m disappointed with the outcome of the presidential race as well as the increased republican control in both the House and the Senate, I am even more distressed by the overwhelming passage of same-sex marriage bans across our nation. Imagine.

Down deep inside of all that is my being, I truly believed in the inherent fairness of the American population. I believed tolerance of the differences in people would eventually equate to acknowledgement that ensuring equal legal rights for all Americans is the proper thing for our country. Tolerance despite differing religious and personal beliefs. Acknowledgement that Americans treasure freedom and equality for all our citizens above all else. But this election has proven how wrong I was.

I have been spoiled I guess. Because I am personally surrounded by people who accept Wendy and me as a couple without imposing their own standards of how they define morality on our lives. People that know me, that know us, that know our Boy. Those people have spoiled me and led me to naively believe that one day our citizens would stand up and allow me and my family equal access to and protection under our laws. For no other reason than because it’s the right thing to do. I am obviously a fool.

I am damned tired of hearing strangers preach about how immoral my relationship is. Of hearing how much of a sinner I am because I am homosexual. I am damned tired of people who don’t know squat about me or my family or my sexuality sitting in moral judgment of who I am. In judgment of who I love. In judgment of the bond of our family. In judgment of the quality of my parenting. In judgment that the structure of my family is a detriment to American society.

What the hell am I missing here?
Why is my sexuality such a threat to so many Americans?

Tomorrow is my 42nd birthday.
And how does that relate to this post?
It doesn’t.
I thought changing the subject may help me feel better.
It didn’t work.


Yume said...

Happy birthday. Came here through Blog Explosion.

Melodee said...

Does changing one mind make a difference? I don't know, but I think you've changed mine. Thank you for expressing your viewpoint and your values so beautifully. And Happy Birthday!

Mamacita (The REAL one) said...

Happy Birthday. Your happiness concerns me, even though you are a stranger. Your sexuality, on the other hand, is none of my business. Thank you for the interesting read, and do come on over to my blog some time. I whine but I never pry.

DementedPhotographer said...

Happy Birthday. :) May the next year be one of peace for you.


Paige said...

It's disgraceful that we're allowing the legal discrimination against an entire group of people. The only heartening thing is that the issue made it on the ballots at all. Believe it or not, that IS progress. There's beginning to be public discourse like never before. As with the civil rights battles in the 1960s, it's only a matter of time.

Eyes for Lies said...

While I am not gay, I can feel your pain and I understand it completely. I find it a huge violation. I find it appauling. I am embarassed right now to say I am an American. We are going backwards, not forwards as a country. It feels like the dark ages are coming again where as a society we denounce science and embrace religion. It causes my skin to crawl.

I will always fight and stand up for your rights -- as well as the rights of others. I believe in fairness and justice. Just sadly, the guy in power now is so corrupt -- justice is just a dream. Fairness doesn't matter.

cleolove said...

Happy Birthday to you .. Happy Birthday to you ...

It's sad, indeed, but try to have hope. We will rise above the hatred and fear!

Peace & Patience

itinerant said...

Dear Suzanne,
Your post breaks my heart. I am a Christian, but I am not a Republican. I wish that I could convince my fellow believers that the two are far from synonymous. I have my own views regarding homosexuality and same-sex marriage, but I am not writing to burden you with them. I believe that the same Constitution that protects my right to be a Christian is supposed to protect you from people like me passing laws to impose our morals on you. The reason I am writing this is because I wish to personally apologize to you, on behalf of myself, my fellow believers, and the Lord I serve, for the distress that conservative Christians have caused you. Jesus did not call us to treat people this way, and I am deeply sorry.

Unknown said...

I don't really know what to say, except that I wrote in my own blog of my pain and emotion in the aftermath of this insane decision, and coming here and visiting your site (as I do occasionally) has cheered me part because of a couple of the comments posted here. God bless the thinking, caring people. And God bless the B-Team!! We could use it, with the uphill battle before us.

I bid you and your family comfort, Suzanne, and to the rest here, I bid peace.

(Fabulous blog, by the way...... ;) )

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Happy Birthday!

To say I'm disgusted by how people voted on the same sex marriage issue would be a huge understatement.

In a country that is based on Freedoms (and hopefully in 2008 we'll still have a few) I would think that the freedom to love who we choose should be the last one in question.

Hugs to you..and I hope you have a wonderful b-day.

Suzanne said...

Oh my. What a wonderful assortment of comments from a wonderful assortment of Americans.

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts.
And for the birthday wishes.

I do wonder what this country is going to be like this time next year. But y'all give me a bit of hope.

Keep passing it on, will ya?


Sam said...

Happy Birthday!!!

As far as the gay marriage thing goes, I'm pro-love - Love between consenting adults, regardless of race, age, religion, or gender. Or intelligence. Or disability. Or hair color or eye color. If the government wants to ban gay marriage, why don't they go ahead and ban stupid people from marrying too? At least it would curb the amount of dumb asses born into this world who would vote for someone like Dubya.

fgjhfgjhhg said...

I'm a Republican and I honor your relationship. I truly believe that many people voted not on the Gay marriage issue specifically, but on the fact that a judge can, with one decision, change the American Judeo-Christian culture of two centuries. That scares a lot more people than your relationship does. And there are a whole lotta red-staters who've had the sh*t scared out of them during the past 20 years. When the fear declines, rational reasoning will appear. I know it's upsetting to wait for people to get over their fears, but this country tends to get it right eventually. I'm so sorry that it has to affect you and yours.

Respectfully, Nick