October 5, 2005

Cringe Factor

I cringed when I saw the evite appear in my inbox this afternoon. I’d heard a rumor it was on the way. I cringed then too. It is an invitation to a toy party. A sex toy party. I cringed again as I scanned the rather lengthy list of women invited to partake in the festivities. Why oh why oh why oh why?

A while back, Wendy and I managed to avoid the party featuring a male stripper. While it’s nice to be included, I truly wondered why we were even invited. Turns out our friends think Wendy and I are fun at parties. Okay, great. But a male stripper? No offense intended to you males out there. I know many of you are quite proud of your bodies and equipment, some of you even rightfully so. Far be it from me to diminish that pride. But really. Who invites lesbians to watch a male strip?

The hostesses of this upcoming sex toy party are good friends of ours, dedicated heterosexuals. We’ve gotten wild and crazy with them over the years. We talk about sex, sure. I’ve even demonstrated my expert bra removal skills to them. No, not my own bra. Theirs. Now that was an interesting gathering that solidified my reputation as a lesbian extraordinaire among our heterosexual friends. Everyone needs a party trick, right?

I try to imagine what this gathering will be like. Will there be demonstrations? Testimonials from satisfied users? Free samples?

I’m not a prude. I adore sex and sex toys are not a foreign concept. I’m certainly confident enough to sit around with other women, fondle dildos and imaginatively discuss how they are best used. I could contribute to said discussion in a very clinical and matter-of-fact way as well as in a more, shall we say, abstract manner.

Yet some of the invitees I barely know and others not at all. It’s one thing to address such… um... personal matters with close friends. It’s another thing altogether to do so with strangers.

I don’t know if I want them to know that much about me. I know I don’t want to know that much about them!



Eyes for Lies said...

Living in Ruralville, it will be decades before a party like that shows up in my neck of the woods LOL.

The people here are way too prudish!

Anonymous said...

My friends and I do this once a year and it's always a blast if you have the right people. The very first one I went to was at a stranger's (friend of a friend) house. I was smoking in the kitchen as this woman's husband put away their dinner dishes and she sat at the table ordering anal beads.
"Great, anal beads." he muttered. The tone of resignation in his voice was classic and his utterance is still a joke among us all.
These things are a lot more fun with your partner and you'll probably be one of the few with a partner there. Have a really great time!

Anonymous said...

So far I've dodged all of those invitations for fear of learning WAY more than I want to know about even my closest friends.

Anonymous said...

Those straight girls...always wanting the lesbians to undress them...

For someone who adores sex, peeps at nekkid pictures on someone's cell phone and takes off bras of straight girls to show off her dexterity, I find it surprising that you're cringing at this evite.

I have two words for you...Silver Bullet.


Whinger said...

I find the entire concept fascinating. So it's someone's business to come to your house and demonstrate toys? Like Pampered Chef or Tupperware, but dirty?

So can brides register for this?

I think you should go if for no other reason than an interesting story, as even the invitation is interesting.

The Scarlet Pervygirl said...

The sex-toy party I went to was very heterosexually oriented, and it really bothered me. I felt like a total alien. We were also told that you can't microwave glass toys (false) and that there are three types of orgasms: clitoral, vaginal, and anal (not true and an insidious lie that has damaged the sexual satisfaction and emotional health of millions of women since its popularization by that idiot, Freud).

But it really makes a difference what company or store is putting on the sex-toy party. Flea, for example, over at The Honeysuckle Shop, gives what I would imagine are pretty awesome and non-exclusive sex-toy parties.

At the very least, every sex-toy party I've ever even HEARD of has let you at least order in private, and the salesperson has a banter that kind of keeps things going and keeps the heat off of you. If your friend invited you, maybe (depending on the friend) the rest of the people she's invited are gay-friendly, and it would be a good opportunity to kind of demystify that whole lesbian sex thing.

On the other hand, I can understand not necessarily wanting to turn your private and entirely enjoyable life into a chance for evangelism.

*shrugs* I'm babbling. The upshot is that I think you'd enjoy it; and even if you didn't, you'd find the whole evening really, really interesting.

weese said...

Hmmm, a sex toy party with strangers.... hmmm.
Nope - not for me... I would be politely declining.
That said - my curious wife and I had fun in the sex toy store in PTown - Wildhearts. The saleswoman was great...and offered up many times that purchases can be made discreetly via the website. She was such a good sales person in fact that I spent the rest of the day saying I wanted to buy one of their custom made harness' (for the strap-ons) just cuz she had such a good sales pitch.
(should be noted i am a pushover for a good sales pitch)

Morgan said...

Yeah, I don't think I would go to a sex toy party with straight strangers. Lesbian strangers may be. I would be ordering my 'extras' through the mail. On the other hand, if I did decide to go there would have to be much alcohol involved.

Bev Sykes said...

I wrote about my own experience at such a party here:


cialis said...

Interesting article, added his blog to Favorites