April 30, 2006

A Woman, Broken

I arrived home feeling exhausted, physically and emotionally.
I whined to my friend Tina, "I just want my life back."
She chuckled and replied, "This is your life. Now anyway."

Wendy babied me.
I napped.
I snacked.
I napped again.

I'm feeling stronger as each minute passes. Real strength, not the imitation strength I've been running on for the past week.

Positive accomplishments flash in my mind despite the enormous chunks of detritus still cluttering my head and my heart and my schedule. This process looms large and casts a giant shadow over the future so dark I sometimes wonder if (when?) we'll all stand in the sun again. (Why yes, I am feeling a bit dramatic. Runs in the family?)

But right now I'm home and can, albeit briefly, put it all aside and just breath deeply.

How fortunate am I?



Geeky Dragon Girl said...

I was glancing at the "current mood" thing and it said "Grateful" and I went, "Awww..." Then I looked closer at the little face next to it. Is that... a one-eyed smiley with a red eye?? A Cyclops mood icon! How funny. I is my vision still blurred from just waking up?

KMae said...

Hang in there, I always try to make a gratitude list when I feel bleak about the future.

Welcome back. Missed you.

weese said...

Welcome home Suzanne.

Eyes for Lies said...

It's been a tough beginning to 2006 for both of us. I am so thankful, yet at times have a heavy heart myself. I am there with you and if you need a friend to vent to -- feel free! I'm here for ya...

Gina said...

Glad you're back. Feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

Welcome home. Deep breaths. And that first of May celebration should you have the opportunity.

Heather said...

I've been reading your blog and I like your writing. :-)