What's a Good Night's Sleep Worth?

It has been 35 days, give or take an hour and a few seconds, since Wendy and I quit smoking.

Wait! Hold your applause until I finish, please.

Oh never mind. Go ahead and clap. Nothing else I say here will be more worthy of applause.

So it's been 35 days. And in that time, neither Wendy nor I have had a decent night's sleep. We toss, we turn, every so often we drowse a bit, we push a dog out of the way, we re-arrange pillows, we turn, we toss. It's maddening. Criminally so. Sleepy time is no longer happy funland. It's more like cranky crappy irritationtown. The lack of sleep also is evaporating our patience when wakefulness is desired and/or required.

Last evening as we discussed our continued frustration and yearning for a good night's sleep, Wendy did what perhaps we should have done when we first started experiencing this problem. She googled for an answer. And while she didn't find a specific solution, she did find some interesting information.

Were you aware that nicotine causes caffeine to metabolize faster? Well, we were not. Upon learning that little tidbit of information, a large lightbulb turned on in my head and hope sprang forth! Bright rays of golden sunshine!

As an aside, because it's been bugging the crap out of me since I realized it was happening, I've discovered another thing about quitting smoking. A side effect I've never heard anyone even hint around about. You yourself may well be hearing it here for the first time. Quitting smoking makes you stupid. Yes, you heard me correctly: stupid. My brain has just not been functioning as well as I am used to having it function. I sincerely hope it's temporary because it's pissing me off.

Then again, maybe my mental dullness is due more to sleeplessness. I mulled over the relationship between caffeine, metabolism and nicotine.

I'm a moderate coffee drinker. Several cups in the morning and one cup in the afternoon around 3:00. I used to drink two or three cups in the afternoon. When that started messing with my sleep a few years ago, I cut back to just the one. Of late, I've been hyper almost to the point of distraction after my morning coffee. I never considered I was over-caffeinated because I was not consuming any more caffeine than usual. I attributed the frenetic feelings to my smoking cessation. Just an adjustment period, that's all.

So knowing my brain has not been as sharp as it should, I have now decided the cure for our sleeplessness is to eliminate the excess caffeine racing around in our systems that previously had been metabolized by nicotine. Our intake must be reduced.

Buh-bye to my afternoon coffee, hello to a good night's sleep? Why the hell did it take me so long to connect those particular dots? No one warned me my brain would not function as well without nicotine.

Smoking is evil.