September 20, 2005

Pandora's Box?

A while back my mom asked if Wendy's mom had an email address and if so, could she have it. I said sure, then promptly forgot to send it to her.

The last time Wendy's folks were in town, I remembered my mother's request. I told Wendy's mom about it and asked if she'd mind if I share her address with my mother. She said of course not. In fact, she had been thinking of making the same request herself.

But of course, I again forgot to initiate that address exchange. I'm easily distracted.

Quasi in-laws communicating with each other isn't unusual, is it? Their photos occupy neighboring spots on our mantel after all. It seems natural for our families to get to know each other. They all recognize our relationship as it is, a lifelong commitment.

I rather like the idea. Perhaps they can be supportive of each other. They do have the commonality of a lesbian daughter, which is not the easiest thing for women of their generation. It is not unlikely they will meet in person someday. And what of our fathers? I try to imagine all six of our parents in the same room and my mind just boggles.

Out of the blue last week, Wendy did it herself. She sent her mother's address to my mother. My mother called me yesterday, all excited because not only had she written to Wendy's mom, she had received a thoughtful reply the following day.

But now Wendy and I are both dying of curiosity wondering what our mothers have shared with each other.

How about you other coupled folks out there? Do your parents know each other? Have they met? If not, would you want them to meet? Do they correspond? Do they get along? Do they talk about you behind your back?

What kind of spark has been ignited by this first seemingly innocent email exchange? Only the shadow knows.



Anonymous said...

I personally try to avoid it like the plague as I tend to lie to my mom at every opportunity, and she could perhaps catch me at it if she knows too many people in my life.
But we also put the fun in disfunctional so you probably wont have that problem.
It changes your relationship with the "in-laws" though because they suddenly have a different perspective on you that was not given to them by either you or your spouse.

J said...

I'm actually surprised about this but our parents get along pretty incredibly, especially after spending so much time together recently due to the "wedding." Big holidays like Christmas have gone swell, and my mom and her dad really get each others sense of humor. In addition, my younger brother is very much the son my father in law never had, and in turn he fills my brother's daddy void. They have a great time doing "manly" things together.
It's very important to us to have a close family - so the fact that everyone gets on is wonderful.

TexMexSol said...

I've been asking myself the same questions... My partner and I are going to Disney in a couple of months and both of our mothers will be joining us there. I'm sure it will be fine, after all we are all adults, but there is something nagging in the back of my mind. Hopefully they won't ask for each other's email address.

Whinger said...

My parents and in-laws just behave like acquaintances, although I'm betting the moms would be closer if they lived within a reasonable proximity. They have emailed in the past, pretty much over the both having lesbian daughters thing, but I'm pretty sure it didn't get too touchy feely.

weese said...

Our families both live close - so our moms have their own relationship going on. they call eachother, do stuff together and all holidays, birthday etc with my wife's family always include my mom.
we think its great - but... we do have to be careful that whenever we share important news that we tell them both the same day...or they will talk and then one will say "Well, she didn't tell me that!"

Anonymous said...

Our mothers haven't met yet, though I'm pretty sure both of them would enjoy it.
Alicia and I like to kid that we grew up with the same parents; both of our mothers are Leo's, both of our fathers are assholes, and both of us were very close to our maternal grandmothers.

Alicia and my mother hit it off immediately, as did her mother and I. I felt like I already knew her, of course, so that made things a lot easier. I think Alicia felt the same.

The Leo's are of the opinion that when they DO one day meet, they're going to be dangerous and downright dastardly together. We agree. So we're not trying to prevent it. Although. One of them being Pagan and one of them being Christian might present a smallish problem down the road. Heh.

Anonymous said...

My mother-in-law and mother have been long distance buddies since the beginning. And they couldn't be more different in personality. It's kind of funny, really. The only trouble spot comes when I've told one of them something before I've told the other, and they hear it second hand. THEN I get in big trouble!

SassyFemme said...

My parents finally met Fran's about 3 1/2 years ago, when Fran's came to TX. We did a big dinner at our house, everyone had a wonderful time. They'd never emailed since my parents didn't have a computer. They always asked how the others were when we'd talk, and knew all about each other. They just didn't have a lot in common except "their girls". Mine were older and ill, hers are younger and very, very, very active and social. If I could go back and do it again, I'd have introduced them right from the start.

Eyes for Lies said...

My parents and my in-laws have no relationship. Then again, my husband's parents have no relationship with him to speak about.

I have had them both over for dinner and rather enjoyed it. My mom loves to dote on my husband and claim him as her son. She loves to brag about him, put him up on a pedestal and talk endlessly about him -- like his own mother should -- but never does.

The fun part? Watching her wince because she can't stand it! She is so jealous of her son it is sick!

Udge said...

Sorry, but I'm having a stupid moment. How can the two of you have six parents?

Suzanne said...

Udge, Wendy has the traditional set of two parents.

I am blessed with two sets of two due to divorce and remarriage on both sides, for a total of four parents.

And then there were six!