One day last week I went over to my friend Tina's house. It took me twenty minutes to drive there. She lives about a mile from us. Twenty minutes. Usually takes three. I could have walked there faster. There are only two stop signs between here and there. But the local high school lies directly between our homes. And it was graduation night for the Class of 2004. Place was a madhouse.
It got me thinking about this time last year. Our lives were so different. It's been a difficult year, wrought with change. And while has been a difficult year for many folks besides myself, I'm writing this from my point of view so it is my difficult year to which I refer.
Last year at this time The Boy had just graduated high school. He had secured a summer job working at a local water park as a lifeguard. He had the little blue pickup truck for transportation. He had a wonderful girlfriend he'd been dating since the summer before. The decision on which college to attend had been made and funding was in place. The future then (as does now) stretched out before him like a road paved in gold. Strong, handsome, smart, talented, healthy and kind. I was (and still am) so very proud of him.
During his last year of high school we were so busy I could easily postpone considering what life would be like without The Boy around every day. It was easy enough to put off because I knew I'd have plenty of time to experience it after he left. Oh sure, I'd seen other parents go through it. Most seemed fine, professing to miss their little darlings while luxuriating in their Glow of Newfound Freedom.
Uh, hello? It's been almost a year! Anyone? Where is MY glow? I'm still anxiously awaiting delivery of My Glow of Newfound Freedom dammit! Hrumph. Maybe this is one of those things that Must Be Done By Oneself. Maybe all this time I've been awaiting delivery of My Glow when I was supposed to go pick it up myself. Doh.
I think perhaps a good first step in Finding My Glow may be to make a list of all the good things I've experienced in the past year WITHOUT GIVING ANY CONSIDERATION to what my life was like before. Sounds simple enough. Okay. Goals are good. Now I have a new one.